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Sleep Tight
1 min read
Today I lost a friend who was really close to me. He had always been kind to me and supportive and to me, he was like my brother. Sadly he was involved in an accident and was put on life support. I wasn't allowed to visit, for some stupid fucking reasons. Today, they turned that life support off, and what they lost was an amazing and wonderful life and the world has missed out because of it.
Sleep well my friend. I wish I could have said goodbye.
Just promise not to haunt me, yeah?
Thanks Steven.
Sleep well my friend. I wish I could have said goodbye.
Just promise not to haunt me, yeah?
Thanks Steven.
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Devious Journal Entry
1 min read
This will be last bitchy, whiny journal in probably a very long time.
I've had enough. I'm leaving home.
If you read this Erika, I won't die on the streets. I'm not going there anymore.
I was hoping my friends and family could talk to me, make me feel better.
But time and time again I've been told to stop acting like a spoilt brat.
"You don't know what you have going for you."
"Appreciate what you have."
"Stop acting like a spoilt brat."
"Grow up and behave."
Well, fuck you. FUCK EVERYONE that's said that to me. If you FUCKING loved me like you said you did, you wouldn't have been a total cock to me.
I've had enough. I'm leaving home.
If you read this Erika, I won't die on the streets. I'm not going there anymore.
I was hoping my friends and family could talk to me, make me feel better.
But time and time again I've been told to stop acting like a spoilt brat.
"You don't know what you have going for you."
"Appreciate what you have."
"Stop acting like a spoilt brat."
"Grow up and behave."
Well, fuck you. FUCK EVERYONE that's said that to me. If you FUCKING loved me like you said you did, you wouldn't have been a total cock to me.
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...
1 min read
I feel horrible. Absolutely horrible. I don't think I have ever felt so worthless, so meaningless, before.
I thought I could fix it, but I just can't. Everything is just getting too much for me. I hate it. I hate me. I don't expect anyone to give a shit, because they have their own problems, their own life to deal with.
If anything, someone would only care so they don't have to feel bad when things get worse. They can feel like they 'tried'.
Well, fuck this.
I'm not going to see my counsellor anymore.
I'm not going to give a fuck how my parents feel anymore.
I don't give a fuck if my friends don't like me anymore.
I'm going to stop trying.
Maybe the trying is making me worse.
Maybe doing what I want can help me. Maybe it will ruin things.
I don't care anymore.
I thought I could fix it, but I just can't. Everything is just getting too much for me. I hate it. I hate me. I don't expect anyone to give a shit, because they have their own problems, their own life to deal with.
If anything, someone would only care so they don't have to feel bad when things get worse. They can feel like they 'tried'.
Well, fuck this.
I'm not going to see my counsellor anymore.
I'm not going to give a fuck how my parents feel anymore.
I don't give a fuck if my friends don't like me anymore.
I'm going to stop trying.
Maybe the trying is making me worse.
Maybe doing what I want can help me. Maybe it will ruin things.
I don't care anymore.
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Inconstructive Rant.
1 min read
Do you know what? Just no. No. Fuck you. FUCK you.
Fuck you and everything you are. Just get the hell away from me.
I fucking hate you. You're a sly, slimy little whore.
That's right, be everyone's favourite. Be popular and loved. I know who you really are.
I'm not stupid. I know something is going on. You can't fucking fool me.
You don't understand how much you fucking HURT me. How much it BURNS when I see your name.
I hope you get what you deserve.
Or I'll give it to you.
Fuck you and everything you are. Just get the hell away from me.
I fucking hate you. You're a sly, slimy little whore.
That's right, be everyone's favourite. Be popular and loved. I know who you really are.
I'm not stupid. I know something is going on. You can't fucking fool me.
You don't understand how much you fucking HURT me. How much it BURNS when I see your name.
I hope you get what you deserve.
Or I'll give it to you.
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Thingy I stole of Erika
3 min read
Your name?
Jeni
What is your hair color?
Naturally dark brown
Do you drink?
Occasionally
Do you smoke?
Yes
Do you have any pets?
Not enough.
Say 3 facts about your personality:
Egotistical, boring and slightly witty.
Do you have any phobias?
Nah.
What did you do last night?
Spoke to the man I love and slept.
Say 5 facts about your bestfriend(s):
Funny, pretty, bitchy, lazy and annoying.
You have a preference for boys or girls?
Pfft. Boys. I have a preference for MEN.
Do you like kissing in public?
Yes! It shows that your partner is happy and comfortable enough to show affection with you in front of others.
Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
Indeed I have.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
I do not.
Do you believe in soul mates?
Yes and No. It's a romantic idea, but it's overused now.
What is your idea of the perfect date?
Playing together on xbox, go game shopping, eat, simply spend time with him.
Based on past relationships or crushes, describe your perfect boyfriend/girlfriend:
Taller than me, gorgeous blue eyes, incredibly loving and kind-hearted. James more or less is perfect.
What is the first thing you noticed in someone?
It depends on their attitude.
Are looks important in a relationship?
I don't think so.
What's the most superficial characteristic you look for?
?
What's your opinion on age differences in relationships?
Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?
?
Do you think someone has feelings for you?
Yes!
Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?
Definitely..
Have you ever wanted someone you couldn't have?
No.
Have you ever liked someone you didn't expect to?
Yeah.
Do you get jealous easily?
Kind of.
Is there someone you will never forget?
Yes.
Say five ways to win your heart:
Caring, loving, gentle, generous, charming
What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?
A lot.
What's the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for you?
James left me adorable little notes. <3
Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? Have you had one written for you?
Nope.
When was the last time you laughed really hard?
10 minutes ago. My brother is one hilarious fucker.
Has anyone told you lately that they would always be there for you?
Yes!
What's your mood right now?
Happy, thrilled for James.
Last person you told a secret to?
James.
Are you stubborn?
Not with James
In winter, would you rather wear jackets or hoodies?
Jackets.
What's the worst time to say I love you?
...There's a lot.
What is one place you would love to visit right now?
Great Yarmouth. <3
How clean is your room?
Immaculate.
Who were you with last Monday?
I dunno.
Where were you saturday night at 12?
Sleeping.
Are faciall piercings trashy?
Depends.
What color is your tongue?
Pink.
When you go to the zoo, what are you most excited about seeing?
I don't go.
What makes you happy?
James, video games, James, chocolate, James and James. <3
What's the greatest thing that happened to you today?
James talking to me. <3
Jeni
What is your hair color?
Naturally dark brown
Do you drink?
Occasionally
Do you smoke?
Yes
Do you have any pets?
Not enough.
Say 3 facts about your personality:
Egotistical, boring and slightly witty.
Do you have any phobias?
Nah.
What did you do last night?
Spoke to the man I love and slept.
Say 5 facts about your bestfriend(s):
Funny, pretty, bitchy, lazy and annoying.
You have a preference for boys or girls?
Pfft. Boys. I have a preference for MEN.
Do you like kissing in public?
Yes! It shows that your partner is happy and comfortable enough to show affection with you in front of others.
Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
Indeed I have.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
I do not.
Do you believe in soul mates?
Yes and No. It's a romantic idea, but it's overused now.
What is your idea of the perfect date?
Playing together on xbox, go game shopping, eat, simply spend time with him.
Based on past relationships or crushes, describe your perfect boyfriend/girlfriend:
Taller than me, gorgeous blue eyes, incredibly loving and kind-hearted. James more or less is perfect.
What is the first thing you noticed in someone?
It depends on their attitude.
Are looks important in a relationship?
I don't think so.
What's the most superficial characteristic you look for?
?
What's your opinion on age differences in relationships?
Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?
?
Do you think someone has feelings for you?
Yes!
Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?
Definitely..
Have you ever wanted someone you couldn't have?
No.
Have you ever liked someone you didn't expect to?
Yeah.
Do you get jealous easily?
Kind of.
Is there someone you will never forget?
Yes.
Say five ways to win your heart:
Caring, loving, gentle, generous, charming
What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?
A lot.
What's the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for you?
James left me adorable little notes. <3
Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? Have you had one written for you?
Nope.
When was the last time you laughed really hard?
10 minutes ago. My brother is one hilarious fucker.
Has anyone told you lately that they would always be there for you?
Yes!
What's your mood right now?
Happy, thrilled for James.
Last person you told a secret to?
James.
Are you stubborn?
Not with James
In winter, would you rather wear jackets or hoodies?
Jackets.
What's the worst time to say I love you?
...There's a lot.
What is one place you would love to visit right now?
Great Yarmouth. <3
How clean is your room?
Immaculate.
Who were you with last Monday?
I dunno.
Where were you saturday night at 12?
Sleeping.
Are faciall piercings trashy?
Depends.
What color is your tongue?
Pink.
When you go to the zoo, what are you most excited about seeing?
I don't go.
What makes you happy?
James, video games, James, chocolate, James and James. <3
What's the greatest thing that happened to you today?
James talking to me. <3
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